OCIAJ Moments
(I tried to put a picture in here and couldn't make it work. Nice job Dr. Wright)
Two weeks ago my wife said to me, "you should write one of those lists of 25 random things about yourself and post if on our blog."
"Boys, don't do that kind of stuff," I quipped.
"Yes they do!" A day later after hours of scouring the internet she found evidence of a boy that we know who had written 25 random things about himself. So, I stand corrected.
But the real story is how she jumped on my lap and proceeded to name 25 things about me. And because I seemed annoyed that my television viewing was being interrupted, she smiled big and rattled off another 10 or 15 things.
Wow. In four short years, she really knows more about me than I seem to know about myself.
Then she said, "what 25 things would you list for me." This was one of those "oh-crap-I'm-a-jerk" (OCIAJ) moments that all married men with any conscience whatsoever are all too familiar with. The only response that all the empty space between my ears could produce was "change the subject, quick!" And so I did. And she hasn't said a word about it since, probably secretly hurt that I couldn't spontaneously produce the same flood of loving and humorous memories about her that she had done for me. OCIAJ.
These moments are part of a natural transformation toward ever deepening humility. Bachelorhood=I'm-awesome-and-I-know-it-hood. Husbandhood=I'm-not-really-that-bad-hood. Fatherhood=I'm-so-glad-they-still-love-me-hood. I'm somewhere between husbandhood and fatherhood. The OCIAJ moments are useful so long as they are not the same again and again. We must learn from our mistakes. In an effort to move along to quickly from this OCIAJ moment to the next, and as a gesture of love and affection to my lovely wife on this special day, here are two lists of 25 random facts. A good friend of mine classifies men into two categories: Hard Guy and Poetry Boy. Well, Wyatt, whether you ever read this or not, here is yet more hard fast evidence that I am forever banished to the latter category.
25 random facts about me:
1. I love San Diego, CA. Someday, we'll have a home there.
2. 30-hr shifts ruin my personal life, but admittedly, they kinda make me feel like a superhero ("...these are life options" --Seinfeld).
3. I've been 50 lb. overweight for like a year now, but I still surprise myself how wide I am when I stand sideways in a mirror.
4. When I dream at night, I'm still a lean 180 lb. Probably explains the surprise in the mirror every morning.
5. If it has chocolate in it, I will eat it. Fast. Clearly also related to #3.
6. I have always wanted a Toyota Tacoma, but a Land Cruiser would be even cooler.
7. I hate blogging. E.g. (example given) I already spent 2.5 hrs writing this post and managed to lose the whole document somewhere between clicking on "publish post" and navigating back to our blog. No, it is no where to be found in the drafts section! AAAAAARRRRgh!
8. I have a love/hate relationship with conservative talk radio. Love Levin. Rush is tolerable. Hannity drive me nuts.
9. I am addicted to television. Currently "The Office." Formerly "24".
10. I have tried off and on for 15+ years to learn how to play the guitar.
11. I really want to learn how to hang glide someday.
12. If I had a hobby, it would be back-packing. Fact: The last time I went back-packing I was a 14-year-old varsity scout.
13. I was happiest with myself after a semester in Jerusalem.
14. I was my best self after 2 years on a mission in Honduras.
15. I never see cop cars until the lights are blaring in my rear view window.
16. I'm becoming exactly like my father (yes #15 did make me think of this). Thank goodness I have an awesome dad.
17. Sea World is my favorite amusement park.
18. I turn green on roller-coasters.
19. In my dreams at night I spend a lot of time acting out on some serious penned up aggression and anger. I have no idea where it comes from. The usual targets are strange-looking bad guys that want to hurt my family. Guns, hand-to-hand fighting, kung-fu... I'm a legit crimefighter in my sleep, watch out!
20. I can't dribble with my left hand.
21. I love watching BYU football.
22. I was most preferred senior in high school, yeah!
23. No one in the world could possibly have better friends in high school that I did.
24. No one in the world could possibly have had less friends than me in eighth grade. Maybe that's were the aggression comes from. Hmmm.
25. I believe in UFOs
25 of my beautiful wife's random perfections:
1. She wakes up happy.
2. Laughter is the most common noise Lili makes in her sleep. Well, before she was a mom. Now it's "Lois." In all varieties of intonations.
3. Lili is unafraid of speaking out on issues that matter to her. It will be a shame if she never has the chance to be involved in local government. PTA, school board, city council, mayor, the white house, whatever.
4. She is practical.
5. She loves life. No to-do lists, or planners, just a simple calendar with dates to remember and a love of every day.
6. She loves to sleep! She used to sleep for whole weekends at a time after a long sleepless week of homework and parties in college.
7. Lili is/was a party girl. I think she went to ever cool-person party there was on campus.
8. She loves to dance. We took a social dance class together when we were engaged. She's really good. The instructor would kind of look at her empathatically, as if to say "you have so much potential, if only you're partner..."
9. Master chef. I'm serious. She cannot go wrong in the kitchen. I don't know what it is. Every thing she makes is dee-lish-ous.
10. Lili loves these United States. I think she gets that from her parents, especially her dad. I'm so grateful that my children will be raised with enthusiasm and love for all things American.
11. She is boisterous and loud! I love that. But she is quiet as a mouse when Lois is sleeping.
12. Lili LOVES to grocery shop.
13. #12 is a big fat lie! She loves to shop for clothes, furniture, kitchen ware, gifts, anything EXCEPT groceries.
14. Lili should be a personal shopper for the rich and famous some day. She is full of class and has a natural eye for art.
15. She loves to decorate a home. I think she should start a home decorating business.
17. No matter how bad her day is, I have never heard her speak to Lois except with bright tones of laughter and love. Even when Lois is the reason she's having a bad day.
18. Lili's been through more pain and suffering than most her age. I think that's why her relationship with her Heavenly Father runs so deep. If only you could hear her pray....
19. Lili is terrified of contracting onychomycosis from her husband (look it up).
20. People love Lili. And anyone who doesn't is dumb. And I'll beat you up in my dreams if you don't.
21. She can't live without her HGTV, TLC and BRAVO programming. All hail Heidi Klum, Michael Corrs and that other judge, "editor at large of Elle magazine" or something like that.
22. She married me despite her personal teenaged pledge not to marry a hairy man. Yeah, that's kinda gross.
23. She has an infectious smile and deep blue eyes that work together to light up every room she walks into.
24. She loves cheese.
25. In a former life, she was a concert violinist. Every once in a while at random sacrament meetings, I get to hear her play. Wow.
Lilianne, I love you!!!!! Happy Valentine's day!!!!!!!!
PS--#25 on my list of random facts isn't true. I ran out of ideas.
No, you're not seeing things. That little package says, "