Allow me to complain? Why, thank you! I think I will. Sometimes I feel like this dude.
Here's why. I used to like traveling/flying a lot. To me, it meant that I was going someplace exciting, going on vacation, going to visit a good friend or going to see family. But now? Traveling means work, work, and slight mental anguish - because now, I have to cart a child along with me. I can't even imagine adding another one or two to the mix, which is most definitely inevitable, right? (Moms with more than one kid - you amaze me!) Anyway, any of you with children know that traveling with a child/children just makes life difficult. Plain and simple. I know Lois is quite mild and I realize that she could be a lot worse, but still. It's hard.
Here are a few thoughts that run through my head while preparing for a trip involving an airplane ride:
1. What if Lois decides to start screaming? What can I distract her with?
2. What if she suddenly barfs on herself? Not like she ever does, but what if? Do I need to pack a change of clothes?
3. Hmmm...what if halfway through our flight, she decides that this is the time she's going to poop? How should I handle that? Do I have a million diapers with me, JUST IN CASE?
4. Do I have enough snacks?
5. Do I have enough books?
6. Should I take stickers? Crayons? Extra paper?
7. Where am I going to find milk in an airport? (It's totally hit and miss.)
8. What cool new toy can I pull out when she's not cooperating?
9. Do I have enough treats? Yep. Still thinking about this one.
10. What if her ears are bothering her?
11. Does she feel hot? Is it a fever? Just in case, I need to bring my tylenol. Naturally.
12. We need at least two hours to get her and all her crap through security, right?
13. Wait, do I have enough snacks?
14. What about toys? What can I anticipate her wanting to play with at that exact moment?
15. What bag is going to be manageable enough and fit all these shenanigans?
16. The flight is right during her naptime. What if she won't go to sleep?
17. By the time we get to our destination, it will be nighttime. Should I bring her pajamas? When should I change her into them?
18. What if she gets stuff in her hair? Do I have a brush/comb to get it out?
19. What if a man/lady in 15B gives me total stink eye? What if?
Well, you get the idea. It's torture! Over and over and over again, I'm asking myself these stupid questions - some of which are totally irrelevant! And it doesn't end until I have landed on destination ground. And then it starts all over again when we go home. The irony of it all is that Lois travels like a champ. I really have no reason to worry. But it seems that the second I don't anticipate something...that something happens! Am I crazy, or are there others out there like this? Why do I obsess like this? And I only have one kid to worry about! Sheesh.
To add to the madness, ever since 9-11, airport security is a grade-A hassle. Thanks to moronic idiots who think it's cool to blow themselves up (and most recently, to a moron who put powder in his underpants in order to blow up a plane but rather blew up his man-parts instead), they had "heightened" security over the holidays. And yes, ladies and gentleman, I was wearing an underwire bra. AHHH! Do let me tell you my horror story.
Flying to San Jose went off without a hitch. The ride back...not so much. I did everything like I normally do: take my and Lois' shoes and jackets off, take my belt off, send through the stroller, my bag of Lois diversions, the diaper bag, my diabetic supplies, the sippy cup, the bottle and the children's tylenol, and then walk through hoping I don't send the detectors into a rage.
But this time, the detector did go off. "BEEP." Oh, no! With Lois in arms, the man asked me to step through again. And then a third time. "BEEP." Again. "BEEP!" Off I went to the holding area to wait for a female TSA worker. And somehow the whole pat down is less embarrassing and violating just because it's a woman doing it? Whatever.
I most definitely gave the TSA lady this exact crusty look.
So there I was, feet spread, arms out - while this woman patted down my entire body, including underneath and between my breasts. In. Front. Of. EVERYONE. Lovely. THEN, to add insult to injury, she started grilling me about my insulin pump that was attached to my upper buttocks and basically asked me to pull my pants down so that she could see it for a second and third time. For reals, I was so annoyed. And in between each time, she asked me if I could remove it, to which I replied that I could not. Hello! Do you speak English lady? Obviously not very well. After I insisted that I could not take it off, she finally let me go.
It reminded me of the time when I saw a 90-year-old lady who could barely walk being searched from top to bottom because she had knitting needles in her bag. How stupid! Last time I checked, 90 year olds were not blowing up and/or hijacking planes. Two words: COMMON SENSE. Ever heard of it? Why do all TSA workers seem to lack it? I'm just throwing that question out into the universe because I really need to know.
Anyway, then we had a short layover in San Diego. And I mean short - 20 minutes. We got off the plane and was directed towards our connecting gates, which required us to exit a secure area therefore necessitating a need to go through security again...for a connecting flight! How stupid! Jason and I were freaking out because time was of the essence and we were scared we weren't going to be able to sit together on a very full flight. While we got through without too much hassle and made our flight just fine, it was nuts that we had to go through security again. And I'm pretty sure Heavenly Father knew I couldn't have handled another pat down, lest I'd have an utter meltdown.
Now, more than ever, car travel *when it's a viable option* is very enticing to me. It may take more time, but no space and time constraints are a beautiful thing when traveling with a child. Plus, you don't have to have a random pat down because you've decided to wear a decent bra! Excellent!
Do any of you have horror stories involving flying and/or the airport? Do share! Or am I the only one out there? I'm guessing I'm not, but then again, I might just be delusional!
PS - I still love to go see people, so the hassle is all worth it! Really, it is. This story was written to vent a frustration, that's all. Don't take it too literally!
11 comments:
That sounds horrible!! Travelling with children is so hard too. You just hope people are sympathetic to your situation, and if they aren't- who cares. You will never see them again:)
I get a little frazzled too, but I try not to let the other passenger get me all stressed. The more stressed I am the more likely things will get out of control.
Also.... I've learned that in most cases I'd rather wait to board towards the end rather than at the beginning when they say families with small children can board (especially if we have assigned seats). Also in some cases having a layover is nice rather than trying to have my kids sit still and quite on the plane for 3 hours straight. Although it's nice to get it over with it always seems to go smoother for the kids when we can break up the trip. Oh and I usually try and get them a new little something to keep their attention.
However the security is the worst with kids. It's such a hassle.
haha! I know EXACTLY what you mean! I had to buy a diaper bag about four times the size of my regular one and it STILL wasn't big enough. And we actually needed everything.
I was nervous about Oliver's ears, so I'd timed it so he would want to feed during take-off. He woke up right when I was expecting him to, and I always feed him right when he wakes up, but he wouldn't eat. We had a 5.5 hour flight, and he wouldn't eat. At all. We got him to lick up some water from a bottle cap, which of course got all down his shirt, so I was glad for those extra clothes.
Matthias got frisked because he was wearing - get this - a baby. Yes, our little Infantino baby carrier with cute little Oliver, and they had to make sure that Matthias didn't have a bomb in between him and the baby. Funny thing is that he was frisked before the holiday, but the day after Christmas when we flew back security was a breeze. Because we had Oliver we got the "fast pass" through security.
Yes, traveling with baby is HARD work, even if it's just the worry associated with it!
I know you know I sympathize. Yeesh. What a pain.
(PS - you can get Parmalat (non-refrigerated) milk boxes at some grocery stores and they are awesome for travel with milk-dependent kids. The airline should let you through with it because it falls under the "child need" category.)
It's worse when the women look like men.
I'm relieved you left off the un scheduled tour of downtown San Jose during your ride back to the San Jose airport from your list of flying drawbacks. I have a feeling what you went through to pass security must have numbed your memory to any other unfortunate escapades - lucky for me. ;-p
That all sounded horrible. And your list of worries about flying with kids - totally was my list! Every single thing - every single time - and we didn't even have to worry about the extra time and wait and hassle of security checks back then. But - we did stop flying. It ended up too expensive and luckily our frequent flying destination was within reasonable reach by car.
Whenever I hear an unhappy child on a plane my heart really does go out to that parent and I say a little prayer for them. And if anyone sitting by me did have unfortunate happenings I always hope I'd be of some help to them.
Oh Lili, as far as I'm concerned, air travel with kids is the best birth control there is. Every time we fly, and it is often, I have a panic attack worrying about EVERYTHING. I cling to the hope that someday they'll be able to 1) carry their own bags and my aching back with get a rest; 2) walk by themselves without need of stroller/rolling carseat; 3) entertain themselves with whatever gadget or toy money can buy for more than 10 minutes; and 4) be content and happy for long enough that I can either read more than one page of an airline magazine (I stopped bringing my own reading material long ago) or take a nap. Hope springs eternal, though TSA is not helping matters AT ALL!
I know the feeling of not having what you need when traveling. We moved to Singapore when Allynn was 15 months old. We knew she was a good traveler in the car, but we did not know what she would be like on a 13 hour flight. That was over 10 years ago, so I could bring the can of formula and whatever else I thought I would need with out trouble. She even sat in her carseat for most of the trip.
The worst trip was a few months later when we went to Perth, Australia. We had just come back to Singapore from the US, spent a week in Hong Kong, then gone onto Singapore. I think Allynn had had it with long flights. We chose a later evening flight with the expectation that she would fall asleep. She had all the other times. She was so upset - a very nice lady came up and asked if she could sit with her for a little while. That lady was a LIFE saver. Allynn went very happily with the lady and sat quietly for the 6 hour flight. Allynn must have been tired of her parents and needed time to herself.
When we got off the plane, someone showed us an over the counter drug (for lack of a better term) that was called Baby Doze. It was everywhere in Australia. I guess they were suggesting that we get some for the ride home. (We couldn't bring ourselves to get it and use it.)
Well you see, they were concerned about the old woman and the knitting needles because they were afraid she'd knit an afghan!
I love this. I've never even thought about most of those musings (I guess why should I?). Wow. Now I understand a little bit about what you mean to travel with a kid. I promise I will never be a stink-eye lady. Ever.
What a nightmare! I can't believe that idiot wanted you to take off your insulin pump?! I hate the anticipation/packing. It seriously stresses me out for like a whole week before. I've never had a horror story but if you ever see me in a line at the airport, choose the next one. I have a serious nack (knack?) for picking the slow line. Even if the other one has 20 people and mine has two, choose the other line. Something will happen and it will be at least 10 minutes after person number twenty before I finally get all the way through. I don't know what Karma the line curse is all about but I atone for something everytime I'm in one.
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